Okay, so I've finally "come out" and now we all know why I abused a stress ball for a month!
The bottom line is that on January 18th, I was diagnosed with M.S.
Leading up to the diagnosis were the last six weeks of 2007 (incidentally the first six weeks of my marriage) during which time I tried holistic and non-traditional therapies thinking that the symptoms I was experiencing were probably just arthritis or issues relating to my spine with which I have had trouble in the past.
By the beginning of January, we knew it was something else. That's when we started down the road to a medical diagnosis. My symptoms were mostly sensory meaning that my feet were numb to the touch but worked okay (my right leg got a little weak but it was only like that when I was tired or hot), I had something called the MS hug which felt kind of like a tight band around my ribs, and occasionally, I had tingles in my legs and fingers that felt like they'd simply fallen asleep and were waking back up. For the most part this was more annoying than anything else.
As soon as we learned the diagnosis, Tim and I found a fantastic specialist and put together a great team of doctors. We don't doubt that I will have the best care possible. When we met with the MS specialist a great weight was finally lifted off both Tim and me. The doctor spent well over an hour and a half with us explaining things and coming up with a treatment plan. When we went into the office, we had a lot of fear and a list of 31 questions. He allayed our fears and answered all but two of our questions without us even having to ask them (we asked 1-if he'd work with my other physicians as part of a team and 2-who do I call for what).
Now we know what we're dealing with (as best as one can with this disease), we've charted a course of action and we can finally get on with our life. (As an aside, the new doctor told us that I've had this for YEARS - as few as five or as many as 14!).
It's not the greatest thing to have a chronic disease like this but it's certainly not the worst thing either. MS won't kill me or shorten my life. It will mean that for the rest of my life, I'll be redefining "normal" and I can handle that.
My weird mind has always appreciated the irony of Tim and I vowing to be together for better or worse and in sickness or health while only we knew the bride could not feel her feet. I've also appreciated that I'm not having to go through this alone. We have each other and are both lucky to be native to Middle Tennessee so we have lots of support from our families and our childhood friends.
I'm nothing if not a tough cookie so I know I will be able to adjust as needed. It is what it is, I will have good days and bad and hopefully will always remember to stay positive.
This is MS Awareness week and the National MS Society website is a phenomenal resource if you wish to learn more about this disease.
If I haven't already asked and you would like to support the cause, you can visit this page to join Sheila's DreaMS Team in the MS Walk on April 19th (and/or donate to the cause!).
*Do note that the last two letters of the words dreams are M and S!
